Saturday, April 17, 2010

First Course of New Chemo Completed

Hi, everyone. Sorry I have not updated the blog in a bit. I've been wrestling with all the new emotions that have come with my diagnosis and just wasn't sure what to write.


Joe and I went up to Tuscon yesterday. I got a new port put in and I recieved the second dose of my new chemo regimen. I now have two weeks off before I go back. Right now, we're keeping all body parts crossed, hoping the cancer will respond to the chemo. The chemo makes me shaky and tired, but overall it is pretty tolerable. The last couple of days between last week's treatment and this week's I actually felt almost normal!


I found a cancer support site called Inspire where there are many women, some with the same type of breast cancer that I have, who have fought it for a long time. I found their stories encouraging.


My family has been amazing! Pam was here until Wednesday and was my rock. She just listened to me and supported me and loved me through all kinds of emotions this week. Having her for my sister will always be one of the greatest gifts I've had in my life.


Joe and I were totally overwhelmed at first and were feeling pretty hopeless. We have had to discuss and make plans for a worst case scenario - not easy, but we've done it and now that we have, it feels like we can move past it and focus on the fight ahead. I love my family and my life way too much to give in to this disease easily. I know so much of it is out of my hands, but I am going to go at it with all the fight and spirit I've got.


The kids are so inspiring to me. They have been so strong and loving and supportive. No matter what course this disease takes, no one can ever take away the gift I've been given of seeing them grow up into such wonderful young adults. The three of us picked out toy chests and ordered one for each of them. I will be placing books in each of them to share with their own children some day. Reading together with them as they grew up was always my favorite part of the day. This will be a way of passing that on.


I am enjoying the beautiful weather. Joe bought me a chaise lounge chair and a big red market umbrella and put them out on the patio so I can sit and enjoy the weather, rest, or read. Joey came down for two days. He, Janaya, and I spent Thursday at As You Wish. He had asked me to make him a picture frame. We had a great day together. Michael is going to prom next weekend and I was able to make it out to the mall to help him pick out his tux. So, it feels like we are reaching a new "normal" around here and it feels good.


Just one picture today. Janaya and Andrew (who we love for being her rock through this) stopped by on their way to a wedding. Andrew wasn't dressed yet, he is in the wedding party, but here is a picture of Janaya. She is just gorgeous, inside and out!



Love you all tons!
Martha

7 comments:

Dawn Chandler said...

Thinking of you, Joe and your family this beautiful spring evening, as I watch from my studio the sun's rays illuminating the breaking storm clouds....

Dottie said...

Dear Martha,

Your family IS amazing in SO many ways!! Of course, it's no wonder with the values and beliefs you and Joe have instilled in your kids from the very beginning! But, too . . . look at the role models they've had in you and Joe! It just had to be a slam-dunk! :o) The ENTIRE Joe and Martha Hitzel family are truly remarkable people . . . and all in your own ways! You have a right to be so proud!!

And, to have Pam right there with you through everything you're enduring, Martha, IS a gift beyond belief!

EVERYONE knows of the bulldog-tenacity you have put in to fighting this wretched disease with your whole body, mind, and soul from the very first moment you knew of it, Martha. Always remember that you have a HUGE army of people at GES who love, adore, and care about you and are continuing relentlessly to do the "behind the scenes" sparring against this disease as well!

You are in our good thoughts and solemn prayers constantly, dear Martha! Best wishes to you!

Lots of love,
Dottie

NP said...

It's always good to hear from you Martha and glad to hear that you get a two week break from the chemo so you can feel "normal" for a little longer. You are an amazing inspiration to all of us. Janaya is absolutely gorgeous!!!
Love & hugs,
Nancy

Tami Proffitt said...

martha...truly beautiful and i think of you often.

i'm praying for you with every fiber in me.

xoxo
tami

Cheela said...

What an incredible spirit you have, Martha! You are an inspiration to all of us. I don't know Janaya or Joey very well, but I know Michael and he is such an incredible young man that I am sure your other two children are just as wonderful! How could they not be with the parents they have?

ZueZQue said...

Thanks for the update Martha! The box of books is a great idea, you know and have read so many good books!

We will keep everything crossed here too! You're always in our thoughts and prayers!

Love ya!
Sue

Meags said...

I love the book idea. Someone told me one time to buy a second copy of my children's favorite books and save them. I did a few of them. You are a wonderful wife, mom and friend.
Meags