Holding Pattern For Now

Hey, everyone. We are back from Tucson again. Pretty soon we will be able to make the drive in our sleep. Actually, I think Joe may have done part of it in his sleep yesterday! He has so much on his shoulders right now between keeping his business going in this poor economy, worrying about me and trying to be there for me all the time, and medical bills that come in the mail every single day. Thank goodness we have good health insurance! He is emotionally and physically exhausted. I don't know how I'd get through this without him. Luckily, Pam arrived on Monday and she is a huge help to us both emotionally and with all kinds of other things.

We saw Dr. Livingston first thing yesterday and he seemed pleased. I'd only had the first dose of my new treatment, but he seemed to think the tumor felt softer and possibly a bit smaller. I have hematomas (blood clots) under the skin from where they did my biopsies which makes it difficult to do a good assessment. They should resolve over the next couple of weeks. He is sending me for an ultrasound on the
17th and will see me again on the 24th. In the meantime, I just keep going for my weekly chemo treatments. He did say that I may need to be on chemotherapy for as long as six months before I'm ready for surgery. This is longer than I had previously thought. I didn't think to ask why. It's hard to describe the anxiety and fear I feel everytime I have a doctor's visit and sometimes it's not until I'm away and think over the things he said that questions come to mind. Anyway, I'm trying to follow my mantra of one day at a time.

Chemo went smoothly. Only the Abraxane this week, so I was in and out of there in an hour. My blood counts were lower, but still within the range where it is ok to have the chemo. Fingers crossed, this trend will continue.

Joey calls almost every day from school and seems to be really enjoying it. He came down two weekends ago to visit and was very happy. He has made friends who have similar interests as he does. They were out yesterday riding long boards around campus. They went snowboarding this past Sunday. He brought laundry home with him and insisted on doing it himself. He says he is enjoying learning to be independent.

Michael has been very busy between working as a bus boy at Buffalo Wild Wings, keeping up with his school work, and lacrosse practice every day after school. He is a junior this year and is hoping desperately that he makes the varsity team.

Janaya is also busy working as a server/bartender at The Texas Roadhouse and going to ASU full time. She told Pam and I the other night that she is in need of a shopping fix, so we're planning on fitting that in later this week.

Joe and I are amazed and so proud of the wonderful people they are growing into.

Joe and I went up to our cabin outside of Payson this past weekend for the first time since before I was diagnosed. It did us both good. So much of our energy, thoughts, and conversations are focused around my illness that many times it just seems to consume us. For these two days, we were able to put it in the background somewhat. We went for a walk, then took a long ATV ride through the forest, played a game, and had a nice dinner. The weather was cool, but beautiful. It was good medicince for both of us and hopefully we'll be able to get up there a little more often now that it seems my treatment has fallen into a routine.



The cabin in Payson.

Well, that's it for now. We miss everyone, but know we are in all of your hearts. That means so much to us!

Love you all!
Martha