Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Holding Pattern For Now

Hey, everyone. We are back from Tucson again. Pretty soon we will be able to make the drive in our sleep. Actually, I think Joe may have done part of it in his sleep yesterday! He has so much on his shoulders right now between keeping his business going in this poor economy, worrying about me and trying to be there for me all the time, and medical bills that come in the mail every single day. Thank goodness we have good health insurance! He is emotionally and physically exhausted. I don't know how I'd get through this without him. Luckily, Pam arrived on Monday and she is a huge help to us both emotionally and with all kinds of other things.

We saw Dr. Livingston first thing yesterday and he seemed pleased. I'd only had the first dose of my new treatment, but he seemed to think the tumor felt softer and possibly a bit smaller. I have hematomas (blood clots) under the skin from where they did my biopsies which makes it difficult to do a good assessment. They should resolve over the next couple of weeks. He is sending me for an ultrasound on the
17th and will see me again on the 24th. In the meantime, I just keep going for my weekly chemo treatments. He did say that I may need to be on chemotherapy for as long as six months before I'm ready for surgery. This is longer than I had previously thought. I didn't think to ask why. It's hard to describe the anxiety and fear I feel everytime I have a doctor's visit and sometimes it's not until I'm away and think over the things he said that questions come to mind. Anyway, I'm trying to follow my mantra of one day at a time.

Chemo went smoothly. Only the Abraxane this week, so I was in and out of there in an hour. My blood counts were lower, but still within the range where it is ok to have the chemo. Fingers crossed, this trend will continue.

Joey calls almost every day from school and seems to be really enjoying it. He came down two weekends ago to visit and was very happy. He has made friends who have similar interests as he does. They were out yesterday riding long boards around campus. They went snowboarding this past Sunday. He brought laundry home with him and insisted on doing it himself. He says he is enjoying learning to be independent.

Michael has been very busy between working as a bus boy at Buffalo Wild Wings, keeping up with his school work, and lacrosse practice every day after school. He is a junior this year and is hoping desperately that he makes the varsity team.

Janaya is also busy working as a server/bartender at The Texas Roadhouse and going to ASU full time. She told Pam and I the other night that she is in need of a shopping fix, so we're planning on fitting that in later this week.

Joe and I are amazed and so proud of the wonderful people they are growing into.

Joe and I went up to our cabin outside of Payson this past weekend for the first time since before I was diagnosed. It did us both good. So much of our energy, thoughts, and conversations are focused around my illness that many times it just seems to consume us. For these two days, we were able to put it in the background somewhat. We went for a walk, then took a long ATV ride through the forest, played a game, and had a nice dinner. The weather was cool, but beautiful. It was good medicince for both of us and hopefully we'll be able to get up there a little more often now that it seems my treatment has fallen into a routine.



The cabin in Payson.

Well, that's it for now. We miss everyone, but know we are in all of your hearts. That means so much to us!

Love you all!
Martha

8 comments:

Jane said...

Hi Martha!
You sound happy. I had one of those days today...and coming here and reading your thoughts put it all into perspective. Thanks for the reminder to celebrate life one day at a time.

I am so glad you got to get away to the cabin, I am sure it was so relaxing and peaceful. I hope you get to go more often now! Your kids sound like they are doing great.

((hugs))

Jane

velvet brick said...

Hey chica! I love the cute little cabin!!! That's the type of place I see myself living in permanently, I tell ya!! This is good news regarding your doctor's visits, chemo and plan!! I know what you mean about having questions pop up in your mind after visiting with the good doc. I'm just so happy that your new treatment plan doesn't wipe you out for a week at a time. Please tell Pam a big 'HELLO' for me. I am so grateful that she is able to come out and help out with things. The kids sound wonderful and I didn't realize that Michael works for BWW...I wonder if he and M are at the same one?! You and Pam think of a time that the Margarita Taxi can pull up for a pick-up... I think she might want to experience it for herself! : ))
Love you, dear girl. Please give Joe a big hug for me and know that I love you and keep you strong in prayer. : ))
xoxo
Carol

Meags said...

Thanks for the wonderful pictures. Joey relaxed and enjoying himeself, happy. I saw Joe for a moment this weekend. No words were exchanged but I saw his sweet smile and twinkle in his eye. Keep Celebrating!
Love you,
Meags

Susie of Arabia said...

Hi Martha -
I've been following your blog a bit and just wanted to tell you I wish you the best with your health crisis. You have a great attitude and I think that is half the battle. I am a friend of Sheila's (grew up with her in Douglas) and I also have met Carol/Velvet Brick through Sheila. We all follow each others' blogs now!
Warmest Regards and Best Wishes -
Susie

Jane said...

I was thinking about you today. Just wanted you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs!

The SAB team said...

Martha, thanks again for keeping us posted on your progress. It's nice to have a reference so we don't have to constantly ask Joe. We are doing our best to keep him smiling that great smile we all love to see. I'm glad you were able to get up to the cabin. It is indeed a wonderful place.

Meags said...

Hi Martha,

It was great seeing you the other night. The table was full of laughter. Wish I could have sat closer to you. I can't wait until next month when we all get together again.

What's your favorite Girl Scout Cookie? I'll deliver you a box personally.

Love ya,

Meags

The Windes said...

Hello Martha,
I just wanted to say "hi" and let you know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Your cabin is cute. Being up north is always a great place to relax and de-stress.

Have a great day!

Sara Windes